We Need To Talk About Your Christmas “Decorations”
People who follow me on @instagram know that I dabble in home design. In a hostile world, I choose to nest as radical praxis. People who follow me on @twitter know that I recently moved into what can best be described as a suburban Disneyland. This is the first time I have encountered holiday decorating as subculture and identity. I am talking animated displays, layered twinkle lights and displays set to music.
I refuse to be caught slipping. I am wrapping my front porch footstools in big bows to match the blinking “JOY” sign. Don’t start none, won’t be none.
Some folks took, shall we say, another route. And I have questions. They begin with those inflated Christmas yard…things. They’re great if you like used car lots and these things:
Seriously, the inflatables are fine. They are aimed at children, as all decorations should be. They are big and fluffy and some of them light up. Others dance around. They’re great.
Adorable. When they’re…alive. Unfortunately, every morning I wake up to a graveyard of cheerful inflatables. It’s like a crime scene around here. Look at this:
